My grandparents are coming today from Kentucky. Granddaddy's helping my dad with something for our yard... Like airrating it and putting out grass seed or something.... I don't know. But I'm excited.
I have a test next week in my Ed. Psych class and the funniest part to me (not that it's bad... but neway) my teacher's not gonna be there for the test because she has to be away for meeting or something. She couldn't get out of it because the person that called her to come to these meetings pays her salary and she pretty much told our teacher that she was gonna have to get a sub. So that's gonna be fun. So I have a good amount of studying to do. I'm gonna do as much as I can... I really need to pass this class. I know I can, but anyway...
So I woke up at like 7 something this morning. I don't know why. It's not even daylight savings time yet... But it is Saturday... I'm glad we're getting an extra hour of sleep. The DST in the spring really messes me up. I hate it. But anyway...
Man I gotta start sleeping in my bed again. For the past almost three weeks, I've been sleeping in the bonus room on the couch. This past weekend, I didn't tho. I was in Henderson, Tn. visiting my sister and some of my friends at Freed Hardeman. It was good to get away. In a way, it's good to be home, too. I love it there, but I love home. Ya know?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Girls night and other events
So, tonight after class I was able to enjoy spending time with a couple other great girls. My friend Jenna and I went out to eat at Logans Roadhouse. It was good! I had Southwest BBQ Chicken. It was grilled chicken breast with bbq sauce, cheese and diced tomatoes. It came with coleslaw and I got to pick 2 sides. I got broccoli (the seasonal vegetable) and sauteed mushrooms. MEGA GOOD and I'm not a big broccoli person! :) Then we went over to another friends house and we watched Flash Foward and Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Flash Forward was good. I probably should not have come in on the third episode, but I did. So I kinda feel obligated to go back and watch the first two before Thursday when it comes on again. The episode of EMHE we watched was good. Can't wait for the next one! :) Hope to have more girls nights.
Before class, I had to go to Joann's (a craft store I've applied at for a job) to talk to the Hiring Manager. And of course, he wasn't in AGAIN. So I have to go back again into Cool Springs to talk to him. He wasn't there when I turned in my application last week. In a way I kinda would hate to make a trip just to tak to him. But who knows, maybe I can talk to other people at other places I 've applied to and do the same thing. So who knows... I seem to be in a better mood today. It was hard not going to Johns after class today as I normally had been doing. But I think that day by day if I take one day at a time, things will get better. I hope they do. And I hope that John doesn't forget about me. I hope that what I'm feeling [in hopes to get back together and all that stuff if things are right] aren't one sided. So... Anyway. I guess I'll stop here. I'm gonna start a thing where I hopefully will be able to read the bible in 90 days.
[John hope you're doing well. I'm sure you'll prolly read this... I'll try to post more every day so you can know what's going on day to day so you can see how I'm changing. I want this to work and I hope you do to. Don't let things go by too long before we can try again. Hope to see you soon.]
Before class, I had to go to Joann's (a craft store I've applied at for a job) to talk to the Hiring Manager. And of course, he wasn't in AGAIN. So I have to go back again into Cool Springs to talk to him. He wasn't there when I turned in my application last week. In a way I kinda would hate to make a trip just to tak to him. But who knows, maybe I can talk to other people at other places I 've applied to and do the same thing. So who knows... I seem to be in a better mood today. It was hard not going to Johns after class today as I normally had been doing. But I think that day by day if I take one day at a time, things will get better. I hope they do. And I hope that John doesn't forget about me. I hope that what I'm feeling [in hopes to get back together and all that stuff if things are right] aren't one sided. So... Anyway. I guess I'll stop here. I'm gonna start a thing where I hopefully will be able to read the bible in 90 days.
[John hope you're doing well. I'm sure you'll prolly read this... I'll try to post more every day so you can know what's going on day to day so you can see how I'm changing. I want this to work and I hope you do to. Don't let things go by too long before we can try again. Hope to see you soon.]
Monday, October 12, 2009
The past day-- Trying to take it one day at a time
A lot has happened in the past twenty four hours that has made me think about my life, where I am and where I want and need to go. My fiance and I broke up yesterday afternoon. I hope I never have to face anything this difficult ever again. Things have to be worked out. I want him back so bad, I'm willing to do almost anything. I hope, though, that he realizes he has to work hard to get me back. I didn't sleep well last night at all. It's been so hard trying not to think about him and not being able to contact him. I want to talk to him so bad, but I don't want that to affect what could happen to us in the future. I miss talking to him. He's my best friend. I mean you can't go without talking to your best friend. I've lost my appetite, I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. I feel so alone.
I'm currently looking for a job, so if anyone is reading this, keep me posted about places who are hiring. I would love to have something part time, and something more than just seasonal part time. I can't have just seasonal part time.
I also am really gonna be strict now about my weight and losing a lot so I can be healthy. A lot of things didn't motivate me. But, now that this has happened, I feel motivated enough to make a life change. I need to lose weight. Hopefully, that will help me gain back some self-esteem and some self-confidence. My mom, dad and I went to Rador Lake State Park today to go exercize. Dad ran, and Mom and I walked. We walked about 3 miles today. I'm pretty proud of myself. I hope to get to where I can exercize twice a day and eventually, maybe three times a day. I'm not desperate, so don't think that I am. I am primarily doing this for me. I need to watch what I eat and how much I eat. Sometimes I give in and get things I don't need. I'm now having to cut back on a lot of things and it's gonna be so stinkin difficult!! UGH...
I also have to gain independence. It's hard, though, because when I transferred schools, I had to move back in with my parents. My curfew is earlier here than it was at school by thirty minutes to an hour. It's hard for me to get used to, but I'm getting there.
I'm trying, also, to make more friends around here that I can hang out with more, and talk to more often. It's hard for me to do sometimes. A lot of my friends I grew up with are in college now. And a lot of my friends are at Freed. So I can't just pick up and drive 3 hours to go see my friends, and then come back another 3 hours. I can't. It's been hard because dad's been out of a job almost a year now. Money's really tight.
I just hope that I can have the happiness that I did have with John back. I don't want to have to think that there may be someone else out there for me. It's too hard. John's the one I see for me. He's the one I see standing by me when I look at my wedding day. He's the one I see when I'm raising my children. He's the one I see when I am rocking on the front porch and I'm old and wrinkly. I know he's the one for me. I'm willing to work on what I have ot work on to get him back. I hope he's just that willing to work too.
If you're reading this, John, I hope you're seeing this and that it proves to you that I'm working on this. I want to make things work again and I want you back so bad. I hope you're willing to work, as well. We've both discussed this, but relationships aren't one-sided. They're two sided. They require a lot of work from BOTH people. I hope that if this is what you want, you're willing to work on it and you're willing to meet me in the middle. I love you.
I'm currently looking for a job, so if anyone is reading this, keep me posted about places who are hiring. I would love to have something part time, and something more than just seasonal part time. I can't have just seasonal part time.
I also am really gonna be strict now about my weight and losing a lot so I can be healthy. A lot of things didn't motivate me. But, now that this has happened, I feel motivated enough to make a life change. I need to lose weight. Hopefully, that will help me gain back some self-esteem and some self-confidence. My mom, dad and I went to Rador Lake State Park today to go exercize. Dad ran, and Mom and I walked. We walked about 3 miles today. I'm pretty proud of myself. I hope to get to where I can exercize twice a day and eventually, maybe three times a day. I'm not desperate, so don't think that I am. I am primarily doing this for me. I need to watch what I eat and how much I eat. Sometimes I give in and get things I don't need. I'm now having to cut back on a lot of things and it's gonna be so stinkin difficult!! UGH...
I also have to gain independence. It's hard, though, because when I transferred schools, I had to move back in with my parents. My curfew is earlier here than it was at school by thirty minutes to an hour. It's hard for me to get used to, but I'm getting there.
I'm trying, also, to make more friends around here that I can hang out with more, and talk to more often. It's hard for me to do sometimes. A lot of my friends I grew up with are in college now. And a lot of my friends are at Freed. So I can't just pick up and drive 3 hours to go see my friends, and then come back another 3 hours. I can't. It's been hard because dad's been out of a job almost a year now. Money's really tight.
I just hope that I can have the happiness that I did have with John back. I don't want to have to think that there may be someone else out there for me. It's too hard. John's the one I see for me. He's the one I see standing by me when I look at my wedding day. He's the one I see when I'm raising my children. He's the one I see when I am rocking on the front porch and I'm old and wrinkly. I know he's the one for me. I'm willing to work on what I have ot work on to get him back. I hope he's just that willing to work too.
If you're reading this, John, I hope you're seeing this and that it proves to you that I'm working on this. I want to make things work again and I want you back so bad. I hope you're willing to work, as well. We've both discussed this, but relationships aren't one-sided. They're two sided. They require a lot of work from BOTH people. I hope that if this is what you want, you're willing to work on it and you're willing to meet me in the middle. I love you.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Family "get togethers"
Today, John's dad and girlfriend came to town for the Ole Miss vs. Vandy football game in Nashville and he had gotten James, John and me all tickets as well. They (James, John, Mr. Farrow and Sally) plus my mom's parents all ate at our house for lunch. It was AWESOME. We had a blast spending time with each other. John and I left in my car, James in his car and Mr. Farrow and Sally in the car that they brought [Mr. Farrow sells Fords by the way]. John and I went to his house so he could change into something for the game so he wouldn't be cold. While he was changing, I played Civilization 4 [which is kinda new to me], and I'm hooked. I love it. Then, we left and drove to James' house. From there, James, John and I walked to Vandy's stadium to watch the game. After the game {which btw Go Ole Miss!!! 23 to 7!!}, the three of us went to Wendy's on West End Ave. for dinner. It was good. Then, we walked back to James' house and drove home. It wasn't until I got home from John's that my legs felt tired and kinda sore from the walking. I knew they'd prolly be a little tired, but I wasn't going to complain while walking because John was sore from helping a co-worker move, and I didn't want to sound like a wimp. But now I'm gonna just say it. My legs are tired and are kinda sore. But all in all we had fun. Just thought I'd share my events for the night. I had a blast. And tomorrow, I get to eat for free. We're having some kind of pot luck at church after worship to help "celebrate" our new addition to the church buildidng. So, needless to say, John, James and I are pretty excited. lol. Now, I'm going to go to bed. I'm beat!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Self Image
[Disclaimer.... I wrote this for a dorm devotional a while back and I thought it would be good for people to read it outside of that dorm devotional. If you're a christian, please read it and tell me what you think. Give me comments. If you're not a christian, please do the same. Read it and give me comments. Hope to hear feedback soon. It's my prayer that this is a blessing to someone out there. Also, all the scriptures I include are from the English Standard Version. Much Love, SBK]
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Self Image
Do you like the person you see in the mirror? You should. After all, the person in the mirror is a very special person, who is made and loved by God. And God precicely knew what He was doing when he gave you a unique set of talents and opportunities. Now, it's up to you to discover what those talents are and to use them, but sometimes the world will encourage otherwise. At times, society will attempt to force you into a particular, performed mold. Yet God may have other plans in store for you.
The world will attemtp to define you- how you should look, how you should act, and how you should think. And because you're an imperfect human being, you may become so wrapped up in meeting the world's expectiations that you fail to focus on God's expectations He has for you. To do so is a mistake of major proportions. Instead of trying to please the world, try to please God by becoming the very best 'you' that you can be.
Thousands of books have been written about ways to improve self-esteem, yet maintaining a healthy self-image is, to a surprising extent, the matter of doing three things: 1. Obeying God, 2. Thinking healthy thoughts, 3. Finding a purpose for your life that pleases your Creator and yourself.
The following ideas can help you build the kind of self-image and the kind of life that both you and God will be proud of:
1. Behave yourself. If you're not behaving yourself, how can you possibly expect to feel good about yourself? 1 Peter 3:12 says, "For the eyese of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
2. Guard your thoughts and guard your heart. Eventhough you can't control every thought, you can usually control the direction of your thoughts. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
3. Spend time with people who are upbeat, enthusiastic and encouraging. If you and your friends always seem to end up in 'the critics corner', it's time to find new friends... and a new corner! James 4:11 says, "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge."
4. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you're willing to firgive other people's mistakes, then you should be willing to forgive your own mistakes, as well. Romans 14:22 says, "The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves."
5. Find something you're passionate about. Become so wrapped up in something that you don't have time to worry about self-esteem. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men,..."
6. Beware of addictions. Addictions of whatever type lead to misery, grief and low self-esteem. Exodus 20:3 says, "You shall have no other gods before me."
7. Finally, here's a word of caution. Don't spend too much time focused on self-esteem. Instead, you should focus on using your talents and pleasing your God. You should learn to direct your thoughts in positive ways. You should learn to find something to do and someone to love. When you accomplish these things, your self esteem will, on myst days, take care of itself.
Additional Bible Readings:
Ephesians 2:10- "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Psalm 139:13-14- "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wondefully made."
Psalm 8:5- "Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings, and crowned him over with glory and Honor."
Phillipians 1:6- "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to chopelation at the day of Jesus Christ."
Ecclesiastes 11:4, 6- "He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. [...] In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or wheter both alike will be good."
2 Timothy 1:6- "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands,..."
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Self Image
Do you like the person you see in the mirror? You should. After all, the person in the mirror is a very special person, who is made and loved by God. And God precicely knew what He was doing when he gave you a unique set of talents and opportunities. Now, it's up to you to discover what those talents are and to use them, but sometimes the world will encourage otherwise. At times, society will attempt to force you into a particular, performed mold. Yet God may have other plans in store for you.
The world will attemtp to define you- how you should look, how you should act, and how you should think. And because you're an imperfect human being, you may become so wrapped up in meeting the world's expectiations that you fail to focus on God's expectations He has for you. To do so is a mistake of major proportions. Instead of trying to please the world, try to please God by becoming the very best 'you' that you can be.
Thousands of books have been written about ways to improve self-esteem, yet maintaining a healthy self-image is, to a surprising extent, the matter of doing three things: 1. Obeying God, 2. Thinking healthy thoughts, 3. Finding a purpose for your life that pleases your Creator and yourself.
The following ideas can help you build the kind of self-image and the kind of life that both you and God will be proud of:
1. Behave yourself. If you're not behaving yourself, how can you possibly expect to feel good about yourself? 1 Peter 3:12 says, "For the eyese of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
2. Guard your thoughts and guard your heart. Eventhough you can't control every thought, you can usually control the direction of your thoughts. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
3. Spend time with people who are upbeat, enthusiastic and encouraging. If you and your friends always seem to end up in 'the critics corner', it's time to find new friends... and a new corner! James 4:11 says, "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge."
4. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you're willing to firgive other people's mistakes, then you should be willing to forgive your own mistakes, as well. Romans 14:22 says, "The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves."
5. Find something you're passionate about. Become so wrapped up in something that you don't have time to worry about self-esteem. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men,..."
6. Beware of addictions. Addictions of whatever type lead to misery, grief and low self-esteem. Exodus 20:3 says, "You shall have no other gods before me."
7. Finally, here's a word of caution. Don't spend too much time focused on self-esteem. Instead, you should focus on using your talents and pleasing your God. You should learn to direct your thoughts in positive ways. You should learn to find something to do and someone to love. When you accomplish these things, your self esteem will, on myst days, take care of itself.
Additional Bible Readings:
Ephesians 2:10- "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Psalm 139:13-14- "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wondefully made."
Psalm 8:5- "Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings, and crowned him over with glory and Honor."
Phillipians 1:6- "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to chopelation at the day of Jesus Christ."
Ecclesiastes 11:4, 6- "He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. [...] In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or wheter both alike will be good."
2 Timothy 1:6- "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands,..."
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